I take everything back - missing Crescent was something I never programmed into my brain but oh god, do I miss Crescent. It's all fun and games until you are thrown into a strange place with strange people and everyone's talking way too fast and oh boy it's loud and they're looking at you but wait no they're not and what are you supposed to say this doesn't come naturally for a girl like you and-
You see? It makes me breathless. Tired, too.
I compare. I compare Crescent and this strange alien place - and it's easy to see who would win. Comfort vs awkward? Happy vs I-wanna-go-home? I've almost never felt discomfort in Crescent, and I am generally an awkward person. Roll on the floor? Change in class? Do cartwheels on the field just cause? Sit down in the middle of the parade square just because I feel like it?
I kept thinking about the genuine happiness I felt at Crescent at times. Maybe the unfamiliar faces are the ones kicking these feelings in the nuts, because I'd love to see some faces I can recognise within a heartbeat. Damn, I wish all of you were here. I wish all of you were here to make me laugh and feel comfortable and make me angry but be forgiven soon after. Make me feel anything that's not wanting to bury myself in a hole of discomfort and stiffness.